I was quite excited when I had my baby! (A) Because I actually really, really wanted a baby and (B) It had taken a long time to become pregnant with said baby and (c) because I had lots of sugar-coated dreams about visiting lots of lovely café’s and sipping fancy hot drinks, bathed in sunlight that danced through the café windows, whilst my baby slept sweetly in her pushchair. I’d seen lots of women doing it on social media and it just looked idyllic.
Instagram unfortunately lies.
All these yummy mummy’s you see online with their Matcha’s…….all lies!!
And I will tell you for why….
I breastfed and so the only thing I was bathed in was my own sweat and baby vom as my little boob barnacle cluster fed her way through the hottest summer we’ve ever had in the history of time!
Also…..coffee is fucking expensive when it doesn’t come out of a jar in your own kitchen!
After my first week of maternity my dreams had to abruptly come to a halt lest we re-mortgaged our house!
It turns out maternity pay is really shockingly shit here in the UK. Yes…before you rant….I am aware that other countries don’t get a penny, yes, I am aware that I am lucky that I did and yes, I am grateful that I got any help at all.
However, it doesn’t change the glaring fact that bills don’t just stop because you’ve had a baby and maternity pay doesn’t even touch the sides.
Now, the premise of this post’s title suggests that I nailed it financially when I had my little bambino, but I can’t, in all good faith, sit here smugly as I smooth my perfectly coiffed hair and tell you that I managed to find away to completely ease the financial panic of maternity.
I didn’t.
According to Maternity Action, only a very small number of women (3%) said they didn’t worry about money at all during pregnancy or maternity leave.
Most did. Around 65% said they worried a lot. Another 32% said they worried sometimes.
When it came to actually affording things, nearly 1 in 5 (17%) said they struggled a lot. About half (49%) said they struggled sometimes. Altogether, around two-thirds (66%) said they struggled either a lot or sometimes — similar to previous years, though a bit lower than last year (77%).
I am in a sizeable amount of credit card debt thanks to maternity, that I’m now chipping away at now I’m back at work. But I did manage to keep us more bobbing about on the surface, rather than drowning.
I shall now share with you 10 tips for keeping afloat financially when you pop a sprog, because maternity is a time that should be enjoyed and treasured.
I hope that these tips can just help take the worry away even a little bit.
- Do all the boring stuff. Figure out what you will get, what your partner will get, what benefits you will be entitled to (if any), what you have in savings etc, etc, etc.
2. Then budget. That’s right. Budgeting is terribly boring and frightfully faffy, but you gotta know what you’re going to be working with.
- Separate the wheat from the chaff. What absolutely has to be paid. What subscriptions can you cancel? What takeaways can stop? What hair, nail and waxing appointments could you do without? You won’t feel like letting anyone within a ten mile radius of your flossy anyway for the first couple of months, so ditch the bikini line wax!
- Get rid of anything that you forgot you were paying. Remember when you signed up to that app years ago that you never use now? Cancel it!
- Stop using delivery apps. They might seem so very tempting when you’re knee deep in baby poop and a trip to the shops feels like climbing Everest, but trust me on this one. They add on money left right and centre and eventually it all really adds up. Get yourself a sling, a partner who can be trusted with a shopping list, or a helpful friend and ask them to do a weekly shop for you.
- Don’t overspend on baby stuff. It can be so tempting to buy all of the cute little baby clothes, but I promise you, you won’t use them. Stick to comfortable, practical and washable for the first few months. With regard to equipment we have pulled together our newborn essentials lists to help you decide what you really need and what is just faff and frillery.
- Make use of coupons and deals. Some well known coffee shops actually offer free cake on Tuesdays and stuff to new mom’s. You don’t need to deny yourself, but don’t-deny-yourself wisely! Get yourself on Emma’s Diary for a whole host of discounts on all sort of baby paraphernalia.
- Buy second hand or accept hand-me-downs. There are of course some things you shoudn’t have second hand – mattresses and car seats being two important ones- but other stuff is fine to do. We had a hand-me-down next to me cot off my husband’s sister and just replaced the mattress saving us a whopping £200! Facebook, Vinted and Ebay are all great for second-hand clothes. Many people have more than they need and so we had loads with the tags still on that had never been used.
- I am not going to be the one to tell you how to feed your baby – it’s a personal preference and totally down to you as a mother and of course whether or not you can, but the glaringly obvious fact is that the actual breastfeeding part (if you take away the cost of pumps etc) is free, free, free! The government has finally put in place ways to make formula more affordable in the UK but it’s still a major cost factor.
- Be smart with your equipment! Use muslins instead of fancy burp cloths – they are all just going to get covered in spew- buy multi-use items (e.g., changing mat instead of table), look for starter bundles instead of individual items and skip unnecessary gadgets…wipe warmers are the biggest con going!
So there you are, you’re starters for ten. I hope it is of some help to you. I know what it’s like to be stressed out about money during maternity leave. If things get really bad, don’t let worry be your happiness thief.
If things get really tough there are places out there to help you. If you are struggling financially during maternity, contacting a local baby bank can make a huge difference. Baby banks can provide free essentials such as clothes, nappies, cots, prams, formula and other baby items for families in need, and there are hundreds across the UK.
Baby Bank Alliance and Baby Basics are good places to start if you are not sure where your nearest baby bank is.
It is also worth speaking to your midwife, health visitor or local children’s centre, as they often know about grants, free baby bundles, food banks and local charities that are not easy to find online. You can also contact Maternity Action, which helps parents understand maternity pay, maternity leave and benefits rights.
The most important thing to remember is that help is available, even if it does not always feel like it at first. There are charities, local services and support schemes designed to help families through difficult times, so do not be afraid to ask. You are not alone, and there is no shame in needing a little extra support during pregnancy or maternity leave.