Birthing Plans: Are they worth it?

So……when I said I was going to write a birth plan, I had so many eye rolls from people I thought someone was going to detach a retina! 
 
Cries of “yeah right – it never goes to plan” didn’t just echo, they came with booming, cinematic  surround sound. “Babies haven’t read the manual,” was closely followed by “birthing plans are a waste of time.”
 
But I’m nothing if not stubborn once I’ve got an idea of what I want to do in my head and I like to know what I’m getting myself into at all times. I want all the facts, all the nitty, gritty and I want to write something down in a nice new notepad.
 
So, I did the research and I wrote the plan and here’s what I found out ….
 
What is a birth plan? 
 
A birth plan is a written document that outlines your wishes for labour, delivery and postpartum care. It helps your doctor, midwife and birthing partners understand what matters most to you from pain relief to first contact with the baby. 
 
What should be included?
A good birth plan should cover all the things that might come up in labour. I’ve popped a few things down for you to get your brain ticking , but there’s a great full birthing plan that you can find here: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/preparing-for-the-birth/how-to-make-a-birth-plan/
 
Birthing partners
Who do you want to be there with you? I personally had my husband and my mom. If you can have two then I’d recommend it . My labour was LONG and it’s good for your birthing partners to tag team each other. There were emotional moments when I was glad the two of them had each other. In the final furlong  I also had one at each end cheering me on!!!! 
 
Pain relief
Did you want to go hardcore pain relief free? (Nobody will judge you if you don’t and trust me you frankly wouldn’t care if Simon Cowell brought his whole judging panel along anyways!) Do you want gas and air, Pethidine or Epidural?
 
It’s worth bearing in mind that some pain relief can only be given at certain times and some can affect baby in different ways and so it’s a good idea to research and decide what you would like. I knew I didn’t want an epidural and that I didn’t want pethidine as I got over about seven cm dilated as it slows baby down.
 
Position 
Do you want to be standing up? Lying down? On all fours ? I did a lot of my labour standing to let gravity do its thing.  
 
Interventions
Would you be happy for an epidural, caesarean, forceps etc? Again I knew that I wanted these things as a total last resort and only if baby was in trouble. I was very clear about this to my midwife from the start and she advocated for me when doctors tried to override my wishes.
 
Post partum choices
How do you want the placenta delivered? Are you happy for skin to skin straight away? Do you want to leave the cord to pulse? 
 
Ambiance
Yes really! Do you want candles (battery operated obvs), do you want essential oils? Do you want music on? I created a whole playlist for my birth and now when I hear certain songs it reminds me of that wonderful time. (Surprisingly, I’m not being sarcastic here……It was bloody painful and exhausting, but there was something seriously magical about labour. I was, and still am, in awe of my body and how powerful it is. Plus, labour brought my beautiful daughter to me.
 
 
Is it worth it?
 
“So is it worth it?” I hear you ask. Is it worth spending hours putting everything down on paper, only for it to go completely rouge on the day?
 
Honestly, on the day itself, my birth plan never even made it out of my hospital bag — let alone into the hands of my midwife. But I’m still really glad I wrote one, and I’d absolutely recommend it to anyone preparing for birth.

Putting it together taught me so much about the process of labour and birth. I learned about all the different stages, the types of pain relief available (and when you can or can’t use them), and how certain options might affect the baby. That helped me make informed decisions in advance, rather than trying to process everything mid-contraction.

Researching for my birth plan also led me to explore things I wouldn’t have otherwise thought about — like different birthing positions, how the placenta is delivered, whether to let the cord stop pulsing before it’s clamped, and who I wanted in the room. Even though my plan didn’t go exactly as I’d imagined, the prep made me feel far more confident, calm, and involved.

I also shared mine with my two birthing partners – my husband and my mom – and they were able to advocate for me on the day when I was high as a kite with my eyes rolling in different directions. 

So yes, the plan stayed in my bag — but the knowledge stayed in my head, and that made all the difference. Birth might not follow a script, but writing one gave me a sense of control in a very uncontrollable situation. If nothing else, it’s a great way to figure out what really matters to you before you’re deep in contractions, off your face on gas and air, and communicating only in grunts. Write it, share it, then let go and let birth do its thing. Just maybe keep your expectations flexible… and your snacks within reach.